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HAltschule
05-13-2008, 12:09 PM
FROM DAVID LETTERMAN LAST WEEK......




Top Ten Signs There's Trouble at The Weather Channel



10. They're rerunning forecasts from 2004
9. Weathercasters giggle every time they say, "ball lightning
8. Hours of programming devoted to footage of clouds that look like monkeys
7. Watercooler talk includes hilarious comments like, "Doppler. I don't even know her."
6. Long range forecast -- "Winter: Cold, Summer: Hot"
5. CEO was caught selling anemometers out of the trunk of his car
4. Smiling graphic on the sun is giving the finger
3. From 6pm to midnight it's just a guy making wind noises with his mouth
2. They don't have a single magician on this week

1. Satellite shot always seems to catch Jennifer Aniston sunbathing
Andrew Stoller
05-13-2008, 01:21 PM
11. Bob Stokes becomes a manager :eek:
Chad Cowan
05-13-2008, 01:41 PM
Hahaha... good stuff.

12. Swizzle sticks are no longer used at company parties.
Dann Cianca
05-13-2008, 10:37 PM
New Daytime show called: "Total Request Live"!
Adam Lucio
05-14-2008, 12:25 AM
They hire this guy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1bCMWLFKWo
Jim Saueressig
05-14-2008, 10:33 AM
They hire this guy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1bCMWLFKWo

OMG, Student forecast or not that was freaking painful to watch...... :eek:
Jason Foster
05-14-2008, 11:41 AM
You know they're in trouble when they stop showing tornado footage shot from the actual storm, and replace it with the same Wizard of Oz tornado over and over again.

And they already cut out daily stinger footage.
Cstok
05-14-2008, 01:12 PM
13. Severe weather events are interrupted by the "outdoor grilling tips for the summer" segment.
Jesse Risley
05-14-2008, 01:31 PM
14. P. Alan Smith gets his own full hour during primetime viewing segments!:D
Mike Peregrine
05-14-2008, 02:28 PM
15. The pregnancy rate of on-air personalities drops to one per year.
Dave Gallaher
05-14-2008, 04:24 PM
16. Evening Edition gets replaced by poker.
Joel Wright
05-14-2008, 05:01 PM
17. Gardening tips scroll continuously across the bottom of the screen.
Chad Cowan
05-14-2008, 05:06 PM
18. Global warning updates on the 8's.
Mike Peregrine
05-14-2008, 06:05 PM
19. Name change to: The DR Trimmer and Mower Network.
Shane Adams
05-14-2008, 07:20 PM
(from the powers' that be point of view)....

They actually cover weather.
Andrew Stoller
05-14-2008, 09:20 PM
20. TWC becomes The Womanizer Channel.
Brian Stertz
05-14-2008, 09:48 PM
21) Dr. Forbes wears a toupe...lays on the Skin Bracer... and starts wearing gold chains. Watch out Jennifer Lopez...you have not seen a swinger until you see Dr. Forbes cut loose.
mike scantlin
05-14-2008, 10:14 PM
15. The pregnancy rate of on-air personalities drops to one per year.

ouch. low blow. but i lol'd.

22. Paul Schwartz, in the middle of his forecast, tells a story of how he used to sell hot dogs at baseball games. (this actually happened.)
Gerard Jebaily
05-14-2008, 10:18 PM
23: When questionable looking highlights are made on the screen.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=s1nAun0T1x4
HAltschule
05-15-2008, 01:38 PM
23: When questionable looking highlights are made on the screen.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=s1nAun0T1x4

Now THAT is funny!! Was the defendant working on-air that day?
Robert Dewey
05-15-2008, 02:55 PM
(from the powers' that be point of view)....

They actually cover weather.

Actually, I believe that's listed in the bible as one of the signs that the anti-christ will soon be roaming the earth.