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November 1998. From the Home Office in Noodle, Texas.
Neutral Tilt is not in the slightest bit affiliated in any way with Negative Tilt or Positive Tilt. Neutral Tilt makes no promises of regular updates. To hear an annoying song while you read this page, click here. Flames and other correspondence can be sent to the corporate lawyers at United Features Sydnicate, who are prime suspects for Mr. Rosenberg's abduction. |
How y'all doing?
Q. What should I do if I see someone speeding while I'm
chasing a thunderstorm? -- Jean Rowden
A. Pull up to the vehicle and ask the media photographer
to slow down.
Q. I have some 35 mm slides from the Spencer, SD tornado.
What do you think they would be worth? -- Marti Filley
A. Please mail them to us at Neutral Zone, Box 1, Noodle TX
71234-5678. We'll send them to some magazines and let you know
what we got.
Q. I am chasing with an RX-7 sports car. Should I chase
and risk getting hail damage? -- K.C. Cosby
A. At your earliest convenience allow us at Neutral Tilt
to test it out next season. We'll return it if it gets
any damage.
Q. I wish to chase in your country. I need partner, knowing
of good tornado days, and locations for buying vodka. -- Boris Yeltsin
A. We passed this on to Prof. Alexander U. Beshmirtnik,
University of Lower Gorskivia, Beshmirtnik region, lesser Volgastad,
who writes:
Boris my friend,
I too am of the Tornadoless lands here in the Eastern Beshmirtnik region of thee country. I have had not the chances to make the pictures of the large dust whirl that can throw Yak With Strength Of 10,000 Men from the lead mines of my region.
I soon am to go to the land of America in the after snow melts time to chase the large whirl across the flatland that reminds me of my childhood home before the time when the atom was smashed with bright light in my backyard. Yes, I will to take you to the america with me to Chase the Whirl and eat the wrapped bean and cheese meal that you can get at every road crossing in the land. We shall be to the Oklamoma for the mayday time to chase the twister movie whirls, and see the many women like the Hellun Hunt who will help us find the vodka to make much fun in the nighttime.
Hope your Yak may pull strong long into its days.
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